


Scars Beneath The Surface

by jediserenity82



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Awkward Arcann, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Meddling Friends, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 06:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jediserenity82/pseuds/jediserenity82
Summary: In which Arcann get a little unwanted relationship help...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This took me ages. And by ages, I mean I started this in June, and just finished it a couple of days ago. Yes, hi, I am the world's slowest writer. 
> 
> Anyway, a HUGE thank you to my friend and beta, Mordinette, for betaing this for me! I'm pretty sure I owe you my soul :D

**Part One**

 

Arcann had thought, had _hoped_ (although perhaps foolishly) that these... thoughts would have left him by now. He was becoming a new person, or perhaps a better way to look at it was to say that he was trying to become the person he should have been all along. He had forsaken his dark past in search of a much more promising future; one with the Alliance and taking the steps to become a better person.

And yet... and yet thoughts of _her_ continued to plague him. Thoughts of warm, brown eyes—eyes so dark they could be mistaken for black at times, and rich, tawny skin; skin he had imagined touching so often that he was certain he knew exactly how it would feel —like the smoothest and finest silks available on Zakuul. The dark, heavy mane of curls that framed a soft, kind face complete with full lips, and the barest hint of a smile could set his blood aflame. Even when they weren’t directed at him, he couldn’t escape Raelyn Mosoli’s charms.

He liked to believe that now, maybe sometimes they _were._

Not that he deserved her smiles, or her kindness. Nor did he deserve her forgiveness - not after everything he had put her through. Hell, he had tried to kill the Jedi on more than one occasion during his fits of rage. And while he had never seen it for himself, he knew of the large, jagged scar nestled between her breasts. He knew of said scar because he’d been the one to inflict it upon her during one of their more heated battles on Asylum. He’d never wanted _her_ dead, not really. It had always been vengeance towards his father that had spurred his bloodlust. Raelyn had always just been the unfortunate vessel in which his father’s spectre had found safe harbor. But now that his father was gone, and he was healed, the knowledge that he had nearly taken her from this galaxy made him ill. Throughout his entire life, he'd been so blinded by his obsession for his father's acceptance, for his approval, and even for his end, that it had consumed him. He would never be able to forgive himself for what he’d done to her.

If only he could turn back time. If he could go back, he would have fought with her instead of against her. He would have gladly stood by her side during the fight against his father, as an ally and a friend.

Even if he wanted so much more than friendship.

He'd found her attractive, of course, from the moment they'd met. She was all honeyed skin, dark hair and eyes, and soft strength. But it had been her outright defiance of his father that had intrigued him and made her beautiful. He was so used to men and women bowing down before him due to his status, that Raelyn's stubbornness had excited him more than he was willing to admit at the time.

It also frightened him. He could sense her power through the Force. She was an unknown threat to his throne, so he’d used her to get rid of his father, and then locked her away.

However, even stuck in carbonite, he hadn't been able to stay away from her. How often had he found himself down in his “trophy” room, pacing in front of her frozen form? He’d been unable to stop himself from brushing his fingers across the edges of her stone prison, but kept himself from directly touching her.

Even back then, there were some boundaries that Arcann himself would not cross.

Things were different now, but he would never forgive himself for the person he used to be. But he would do whatever it would take to make amends… to make up for the things he had done to her and to the rest of galaxy.

A soft chuckle alerted him to the presence of someone sitting next to him, dragging him from his dark thoughts.

He glanced over to find his mother, smiling fondly at him, a knowing glint in her pale blue eyes. "You were watching her again."

Embarrassment rushed through him. If Senya was aware of his gawking, surely everyone else gathered would have been, too. However, when he glanced around, all eyes were focused on the pair sparring in the center of the enclave, not on him. Today was one of the rare days where they were in between supply runs that had the majority of the commander’s inner circle on Odessen and it gave them all a chance to relax, even if for a short a moment, and most had come to watch their leader work out with Lana Beniko. Clearing his throat, Arcann tried for nonchalance. "I was admiring her fighting stance. Nothing more."

Senya breathed a laugh through her nose and shot him a dubious look, her expression irritatingly knowing. She knew. Izax take him, if she could read him, was it simply because of their maternal bond, or was he doing a poor job at shielding his feelings altogether? Could others read him so clearly? Arcann had never been very good at controlling his emotions. That had always been Thexan’s specialty.

His brother had always been better at most things.

They watched the sparring continue in silence for a time, admiring the obvious difference and similarities in the Jedi's and Sith's techniques. There was a calm, graceful elegance in the way Raelyn fought, although her moves were mostly of the defensive nature, whereas there was a wild beauty in Lana's assault.

Arcann watched the Jedi's moves closely. Raelyn was still recovering from her close encounter on Iokath when she shut down the superweapon. How many more times could this incredible woman survive near-fatal attacks on her body and live to tell about it? He didn’t want to risk finding out the answer. He’d never felt such worry for another person as he had when Theron and Lana had half carried her from the ship. The anger he’d felt when he’d learned of the traitor within the Alliance, and the reason for her current state, was a familiar feeling. She’d been pale, eyes dull and body limp. The fear he’d felt for her and her safety was new, but not unwelcome.

She’d mostly recovered over the weeks since they’d returned to Odessen. Everyone tried to convince her to lay low for a while, to let herself heal, but again her stubbornness and determination wouldn’t allow her to sit idle for long. So here she was now, forcing herself back into the swing of things before she was ready. It was one of the many things he admired about her, of course. But her moves were still a bit sluggish, and even from where he sat, he could see the sweat trickling down her neck to vanish below the low neckline of her shirt.

He did his best not to imagine what it would be like to chase that path with his tongue. It didn’t work.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of such traitorous thoughts. She was his friend now, and harboring such inappropriate fantasies would only lead to trouble.

Snorting, Senya shook her head. “Obviously.”

Arcann ignored her, instead focusing his attention on the Jedi and Sith as they circled each other, trading blows and snarky quips back and forth. He grinned as Raelyn landed a particularly hard blow against Lana’s knee and forced her to the ground.

“Hypothetically speaking,” Senya finally continued, though her tone suggested there was nothing hypothetical in her words in the slightest. She kept her eyes on the pair circling each other, a hint of a smile still playing at her lips. “If you were interested in her for something other than her fighting style, I would approve.”

Arcann eyed his mother warily, but refused to take the bait.

"She's done so much for us. Me, you... she even tried to help Vaylin. After everything..." Senya's voice cracked with emotion at the mention of her recently deceased daughter.

Arcann himself felt a stab of pain through his chest. Reaching over, he hesitantly rubbed his mother’s back for comfort. It was a bit awkward; their relationship was still new and a bit turbulent at times, but it had come a long way in the short time since she’d risked her own life to save him.

"All I ever wanted for my children was for you to be happy." She glanced at him then, her smile returning to her face. "She watches you too, you know."

He scoffed. Sure, he had caught her watching him a few times, when their eyes would meet across the cantina or across the war table, but the impression he got from the attention was the way prey might watch a predator—with wariness, caution, and maybe even a little hint of fear. Well, that's how it had been at first, anyway. Lately, however, she would flash him that devilishly shy smile, even seemingly to seek out his company on occasion, and had even opted to take him along on several recruiting missions and supply runs, and he found himself always looking forward to the next one. But given recent events, and the discovery of a traitor within their midst, he’d simply chalked it up to surveillance and nothing more at the time.

That was another issue of its own. Even after months of pledging himself to the Alliance, most of Raelyn’s inner circle and the majority of her followers still didn’t trust him, and he had been the first person Theron and Lana had interrogated after returning from Iokath. Endless days turned into weeks of questions and what little privacy he’d been allotted had all but become nonexistent. It had sent Senya into a rage, but Arcann took it all in stride. He wasn’t the only one being monitored (though he seemed to be their prime suspect), and to be perfectly honest, he couldn’t blame them. Had he been in their position, he would have been the first one he would suspect as well.

It had been Raelyn who had put a stop to it in the end. He had never seen her so angry; apparently her top advisors had kept a great deal of their investigation details from the commander. How she found out, Arcann wasn’t certain (though he had suspicions that his mother had brought it to her attention), but when she discovered that he had been the focus, she put a stop to it immediately. The shameful expressions on both the former SIS Agent and Sith Lord had been almost comical.

Raelyn really was too good for him. She was everything he was not; she was too good to a fault, almost naive in some cases, and far too trusting. She’d accepted him without question when he’d pledged his loyalty to her. It both endeared her to him and terrified him. “I’ve taken too much from her that I can never give back.” He sighed, shifting his gaze down to his feet. “She deserves better than a monster.”

Scowling, Senya turned to face him. “You give yourself too little credit. You’ve done some terrible things, Arcann, but you are not that tyrant any longer.” The angry tone of her voice left little room for debate, and her expression cut off whatever protests he had been about to give. “You’ve gone above and beyond for this Alliance since you joined us, and the commander sees that. And you of all people deserve happiness. The only one holding yourself back from it now is you.”

He stared at his mother, stunned by the vehemence of her conviction. He wanted to thank her for her trust just as much as he wanted to deny her claim that he was standing in his own way when it came to making himself happy, and if he were honest with himself, the last time he had truly felt happiness was when he was a child, before his mother left, and he’d had the freedom to enjoy being young with his siblings. But after Senya had left, Valkorion had gone out of his way to make sure their life had been filled with anger, fear, and jealousy, and he’d allowed those emotions to dominate him, and it had led him to kill his own brother.

It had been what his father wanted all along—to push him so close to that edge that he went tumbling over. Thexan had been another innocent victim that his father had used against him. Arcann found himself wondering what his twin would think of him now. Would he find him weak? Would he be proud of the strides he had made?

It had been a long time since he’d felt anything other than anger and rage. But Raelyn and his mother had given the opportunity to feel again. And for that, he was eternally grateful. Life was so much more enjoyable now that he had people to care about… and who cared about him. He didn’t know what to say. “I… thank you, mother.”

“Give yourself the chance to be happy, Arcann,” she continued softly, giving his hand a slight pat. “There’s always a chance at rejection—“

“And let’s not forget a murderous older brother,” he added dryly, his blue eyes immediately scanning the open area for any signs of the adopted Mandalorian before remembering that he was currently off planet on some hunt with the rest of Shae Vizla’s clan.

Gavyn Mosoli was not one of Arcann’s biggest fans. In fact, he had greeted the former emperor with a blaster in the face before Raelyn had, once again, come to his rescue. Their relationship was new and nearly as strained as his and Senya’s had been at the beginning. The Jedi had been completely unaware of any relatives, given that she had been a part of the Order since the age of three. Gavyn, on the other hand, had become instantly protective of his little sister, something Arcann could greatly respect.

Perhaps if he had been more protective of Vaylin during their childhood, things would have turned out differently. Maybe he could have saved her in the end. But Arcann couldn’t allow himself to dwell on those dark thoughts for too long. He could wish things had turned out differently all he wanted, but it would never change reality, and it certainly wouldn’t bring his sister, or his brother, back. His only solace was that his father was now gone and no longer had control over any of them.

Senya chuckled. “There is that,” she agreed, amusement evident in her voice, and completely unaware of the direction his dark thoughts had taken him. “But I think in time you’ll win him over. And who knows,” her grin widened coyly, “if things go the way I think they will, I’ll finally get those beautiful grandchildren I’ve always wanted.”

Sputtering, Arcann glared daggers at his mother, but a commotion in the center of the sparring circle cut off any response he might have given. Snapping his attention back to the fight, his heart lurched when his eyes settled on the unmoving figure sprawled on the mat.

He was on his feet and racing towards the clearing before he had a chance to stop himself. He pushed through the crowd to see Lana and Theron leaning over the small Jedi, trying to coax a reaction from her.

“What the hell happened, Lana?” Koth asked from behind her, his expression worried as he quickly sent out an alert for a medic.

“I… I don’t know. It all happened so quickly, she turned and the hilt of my training saber caught the side of her head.” The sith’s voice wavered slightly as she tried to catch her breath, the worry for the commander obvious. “I honestly didn’t think it had been that hard.”

Kneeling down, Arcann carefully maneuvered her head into his lap. Tenderly, he ran his thumb across her temple where he could see a rather large bruise already forming beneath her hairline. He could feel eyes on him, but his focus was completely on the woman before him. His worry increased when her eyes remained closed and she gave no response to voice or touch.

“Over here!” He heard Theron call out a few moments later, spotting Elara Dorne rushing into the room and quickly motioned her over, ushering the gathering crowd away to give her room to work.

The former Imperial checked Raelyn over meticulously, blonde brows pinched in concentration. “I think she’ll be fine,” she assured everyone, and there was a collective sigh of relief from the patrons gathered. “She’s a bit dehydrated, and she’ll probably wake up with a headache. We’ll have to watch for any signs of a concussion, but she’ll be fine.” Reaching into her pouch, Elara pulled out a small vial and held it underneath her patient’s nose.

Arcann released a breath that he wasn’t aware he was holding when the bridge of Raelyn’s nose scrunched up in distaste from whatever was in the medic’s vial. If he weren’t so concerned for her, he might have found it cute. Her brown eyes slowly fluttered open, and he watched a range of emotions play over her face: pain, confusion, shock, and something he couldn’t quite identify before it came full circle.

With a slight groan, the Jedi reached up and gingerly touched the wound at her temple, wincing at the pain. “What happened?”

“You and Lana were sparring,” he said, keeping his voice low so as not to agitate her headache. He absentmindedly stroked her hair, brushing it away from her forehead. “The hilt caught you on the side of the head.”

“Accidentally,” Lana insisted, shooting him a glare. “Commander, I am so sorry.”

Before anything else could be said, Elara interjected and began to ask Raelyn a series of questions, testing her for any signs of a concussion. Once she was satisfied, she began to put her instruments away. “No signs of a concussion, but I want you to take it easy for the remainder of the day, and rest.”

“Yes, doc,” she replied, voice still strained. Gazing up at him, Raelyn’s eyes searched his, a sheepish smile on her face. “Think you could help me up?”

“Of course.” Slipping his arms underneath her, Arcann slowly and carefully helped her to her unsteady feet. When she wavered the slightest bit, he kept his arm securely around the small of her back so she could lean against him. He supported her slight weight easily, and he scolded himself for the way his body responded to her warmth. Now was definitely not the time for his body to betray him.

“Arcann,” Elara’s voice dragged him from his treacherous thoughts, for which he was grateful. “If you could please help the commander to her quarters, I will be in shortly to check on her.”

He glanced at his charge for permission, relieved when she nodded and leaned into him further, and he slowly began to lead her out of the training room and toward her quarters.

“Guess I overdid it,” she mumbled softly, breaking the awkward silence that had settled between them. She wouldn’t look at him, but he could see the blush coloring her cheeks. “I’m sorry you’re having to play babysitter.”

That was another trait of hers that he found endearing and admirable. She hated to appear weak in front of her allies or her enemies, but she wasn’t above admitting when she’d reached her limits. Smirking, Arcann gave her arm a squeeze, and he wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or not, but he thought he felt a shiver pass over her. “It’s no trouble at all, Commander. I am always here to help.”

There was that smile again. The one that did funny, unfamiliar things to his heart. It was warm, with dimples on full display, the blush deepening ever so slightly. He found himself having a hard time forcing his gaze away from her.

 _Get ahold of yourself,_ he scolded internally. _She’s not well and the last thing she needs is for you to scare her half to death with your gawking._

Arcann helped her inside and settle onto the bed, every nerve in his body alive and on high alert. The man could feel her eyes on him as he arranged her pillows and pulled back the blanket for her. He was inside the bedroom of the woman he desired, and he had to remind himself, yet again, that he was there to make sure she was okay and then to be on his way.

He was ashamed of himself. She was not his to lust after, and he cared for her well-being far more than any physical attraction he felt towards her. It wasn’t just her beauty that attracted him to her, it was her intelligence, her kindness. Her strength and her willpower, her determination and her stubbornness. She was everything he never knew that he’d always wanted. His respect for her was greater than anything else.

Pushing those thoughts aside, he made sure she was completely comfortable before stepping back and creating distance between them. “Do you need anything before I leave you to rest?”

Raelyn shook her head, smiling fondly at him. “No, I’ll be fine. Thank you for everything.”

The man froze, mesmerized as she stepped into his personal space, reaching up on the tips of her toes to press a small kiss to his scarred cheek. He kept himself completely still, breath held and fists clenched tightly at his side until she pulled back.

Her brown eyes widened ever so slightly, as if she were just as shocked as he was by her own actions. The Jedi sank down onto the edge of the bed, averting her gaze and small hands tucked between her knees. “Thank you again for the escort.”

Arcann cleared his throat again, walking backwards towards the door. “Anytime,” he rasped, his voice low and unrecognizable even to himself. “I’ll… see you at dinner?”

Raelyn turned towards him, brushing her hair out of her face, and forced a smile. “Of course.”

Nodding, he bid her farewell and quickly exited her quarters, not breathing again until the door was closed firmly behind him. He hadn’t been imagining that, had he? Raelyn had always been friendly with him since he’d joined, but something had definitely changed between them, that was obvious. He could feel the connection between them growing, but he just needed to make sure they were on the same page.

It was quite possible that he was over-analyzing everything; that she was just thankful for his help and had no romantic feelings towards him whatsoever. But there was something in the back of his mind telling him that he had to pursue this. Even if she rejected him, he needed to get it out in the open and tell her the truth.

With his mind made up, Arcann made his way back to the training room. He needed to distract himself for the remainder of the day, and the training dummies were going to be his outlet for his pent-up energy. He needed a clear mind and to get his thoughts in order before dinner.

He was going to tell her tonight.

 


	2. Chapter 2

** Part Two **

 

That evening, Arcann kept a close eye on the cantina entrance throughout dinner, and the later it became with no sign of Raelyn, the more worried he became. He’d found Elara later that afternoon and she had assured him that Raelyn was going to be just fine and she was simply resting. Had she been wrong? Had she gotten worse or had something else happened?

His worries were somewhat alleviated when Elara made her way into the cantina for her own dinner, and she assured him that the commander was fine and was resting comfortably when she’d last checked on her. She promised she was keeping a constant vigil of her vitals, and that should anything else arise, she would bring them to his and the commander’s other advisors as soon as possible.

The volume of the cantina’s patrons was beginning to increase, indicating to Arcann the end of shifts for most of the Alliance members, and the commander still had yet to show. Had she showed up early and he’d missed her? When he’d asked the waitresses if there had been any sign of her, no one had seen her since that morning.

Resigned to dining alone and putting his plans of telling Raelyn how he felt on hold, Arcann opened his datapad with a sigh and began putting his order in.

“She always gets the veghash,” a bright, bubbly voice trilled from beside him. “Though if you really want to impress her, I’d go with the vegeparsine.”

He smiled, recognizing the voice belonging to one of the few people within the Alliance, aside from the commander and his mother, who had treated him as part of their group from almost the beginning. Glancing up, he found Vette had silently maneuvered herself into the seat across from him. She was grinning knowingly at him, her cheek resting lazily against the palm of her hand. “What, exactly, are you going on about?”

The twi’lek shrugged, nonchalantly taking a bite of her own meal, which seemed to consist of different types of vegetables with a fairly large portion of skewered meat. She nibbled delicately on a green bean, looking at him thoughtfully. “I’m just saying, if you wanted to impress a certain commander, I would go for the fancier dish, that’s all.”

Arcann blinked at her, confused. “I still don’t—"

Groaning, Vette leaned forward and pried the datapad from his fingers just as he was about to put in his own order of Trimpian. Her fingers moved quickly, and a few moments later and with a satisfied smile, she tossed the datapad onto the table. “You have twenty minutes before the food is ready, you may want to use that time to come up with a proper greeting to get the commander to have dinner with you.” She paused for a moment, tapping a slender finger against her chin. “But to be perfectly honest, I really don’t think you’ll have to do much convincing.”

He stared at her for several moments, not sure whether to be angry or amused at the young twi’lek’s attempt at playing matchmaker. Out of everyone in the Alliance, he wasn’t surprised in the slightest that Vette had figured him out. A lot of people dismissed her as naive, but she was surprisingly perceptive. And nosy. “You’re meddling.”

“Of course I am. It’s what I do best.”

Arcann couldn’t help but chuckle. At first, he had found Vette’s upbeat and cheerful personality to be grating and possibly a rouse. No one person could possibly be that cheery and upbeat all the time. But the longer he was with the Alliance, the more he realized that that was just… Vette. She was friendly with everyone and went out of her way to make sure that, in her own words, “no one was walking around in their grumpy pants.”

Though he had noticed that since Torian’s death, there had been an air of sadness about her, and Arcann suspected she was heavily laden with guilt. She did her best to try to hide it behind her extra bubbly personality as of late, but she wasn’t really fooling anyone. But that didn’t exactly explain her sudden interest in his love life. “What are you up to, Vette?”

She leaned forward, conspiratorially lowering her voice so only he could hear. “Look, I’ve spent enough time watching people that I’ve become a master of reading them, too. I can spot the googly-eyed look of longing from a kilometer away.”

“There are no googly-eyed looks—”

Vette rolled her eyes. “Of course there’s googly-eyes. You may think you’re being discreet when you’re watching her, but you’re about one smile away from drooling,” she teased, laughing merrily at Arcann’s groan as he hid his face from view with his hands. “But there is good news.”

“I’m not certain I want to hear it."

“Look,” the twi’lek sighed, resting her arms on the table and dropping her voice low. “The commander has been good to me. I would be dead if not for her. I can’t do much to thank her for that, but I would like to see her happy…”

A serving droid approached their table before Vette could continue, and she waited until it had deposited the food before she went on. “I have it on good authority that Raelyn has feelings for you. I can see when she looks at you, the same way I can see it when you look at her.” Vette pointed at the food. “Now what you’re going to do, is you’re going to take this food, and you’re going to go impress our favorite Jedi commander, and if you’re smart, you’ll stay until she’s putty in your hands.”

He considered it for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of the idea. It wasn’t a bad plan, as far as plans went. And really, it was the only plan he had. Finally, Arcann stood, smiling as he clasped Vette on the shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “Thank you.”

She grinned at him as she began to dive into her dinner. “I’ll put it on your tab.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure you will.”

His mother and Vette had both done wonders to ease his nerves over his feelings towards Raelyn and had given him a confidence that he had never felt before. This could still go south, but he would deal with whatever outcome with dignity.

Ignoring the numerous curious looks, Arcann left the cantina and carried the tray full of food, making his way to the commander’s quarters for the second time that day, his heart pounding and his body alive with nervous energy. With every step, the confidence he had managed to conjure began to wane. How could he have let Vette talk him into this?

HK-55 was standing vigil outside of her quarters as usual, and informed him that Raelyn was resting and was not to be disturbed.

“She hasn’t eaten since this morning,” Arcann told the droid, trying to contain his irritation. “The commander needs to keep up her strength, especially after this morning’s incident.”

HK paused momentarily, considering. With a curt nod, the droid moved out of his way. “Acknowledgment: I will alert the commander at once.”

A few moments later, the heavy metal door slid open, and he could hear Raelyn call out to him to enter.

Taking a deep breath, Arcann moved past the droid, who waited until he was inside before hitting the door panel so that it slid shut behind him. The light in the room was dimmed so that it cast a soft, orange glow over the makeshift bedroom. Finally, he found her seated on the couch, her bare legs tucked underneath her, volumes of wavy dark hair forced straight and unbound from her recent shower. She looked up from her holopad, brown eyes widening as they focused on him. “Arcann?”

He swallowed hard, forcing his eyes to look directly at her face. He had never seen her in such a state of undress, and it was wrecking havoc on his senses. She wasn’t naked, but her choice of bedclothes, a simple thin tank top and shorts had his brain conjuring up inappropriate images to the contrary. This had been a very bad idea. “I… brought you some food.”

A slow smile touched her lips as she stood, setting her holopad on the side table next to her. “You didn’t have to do that, Arcann,” she breathed, sounding touched at his thoughtfulness. She smoothed out her clothes, blushing as she tugged on her oversized shirt to try and cover herself up. It didn’t work. Instead, she reached for the blanket on the back of the couch, draping it over her shoulders so that only her arms and legs were exposed. It made her small form appear even smaller and more fragile, and he wanted nothing more than to keep her safe.

“I apologize for disturbing you,” Arcann murmured, setting the food on the table, shuffling his weight uncomfortably. “I just figured you might be hungry after this morning.”

Her face softened as she approached him, reaching out and touching his arm thankfully. “You’re not bothering me at all. This was really sweet of you.” As if on cue, her stomach grumbled loudly and she laughed. “Guess I am a bit hungry.” She eyed the tray, her smile turning into a full-blown grin. “Will you be joining me, then?”

Arcann felt his face warm. He’d been stupid to presume she would invite him to stay. To his relief, however, she didn’t seem annoyed, but rather pleased by the idea. “If you will allow it.”

Raelyn sat down, patting the seat next to her, brown eye twinkling with mirth. “I’d be honored if you’d have dinner with me, _Prince_ Arcann.”

Groaning at the title, he seated himself next to her as he placed her dinner on the table, nerves slowly dissolving thanks to her easygoing demeanor, happy that she seemed to be genuinely enjoying his company. “How are you feeling?”

“A bit better,” she assured him. “A lingering headache, but I think I’ll survive.” Taking the lid off of her meal, she grinned at the contents. “Wow, you really went all out. I love vegeparsine. How did you know?”

Spearing a chunk of meat and popping it into his mouth, Arcann considered how to answer. He, of course, could lie and take all the credit for it by claiming he was so suave and intuitive that he could give Theron a run for his money. But honestly, he knew no one would buy that. So, he finally decided on the truth. “I may have had a little help from a certain nosy twi’lek.”

Laughing, Raelyn brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear before picking up her utensils and delicately picking at her food. “Remind me to thank her in the morning.”

They ate in comfortable silence for a time, and Arcann found himself sneaking glances at her out of the corner of his eye, smirking at the way she would dab delicately at her mouth every time she thought she might have even the smallest speck of food littering her face. He found it incredibly endearing, and he was enjoying learning some of her smaller and more private quirks.

Taking a final sip of her spiced tea(she had politely declined his offer of some of his own stash of the best Zakuulian wine), she sat her glass aside and smiled at him. “So,” she started, pushing her tray aside. “We haven’t had much of a chance to talk lately with everything going on.” She waved her hands around dismissively. “Is everyone treating you okay? No more interrogations?”

He was a little taken aback by the genuine concern on her face. If it had been anyone else, he might have been annoyed by the question. He didn’t need to be coddled, and was quite capable of taking care of his own affairs. But from her…

He found he liked the idea of her worrying about him. But he wasn’t about to let her know that. “Nothing I haven’t been able to handle on my own, Commander.”

Raelyn bit her lip. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know you can take care of yourself.” She smiled then, a soft blush painting her cheeks. “I just know things haven’t been easy for you since you arrived, and with this business with Theron and Lana trying to track down this traitor, I worry they will lose sight of how much you’ve helped us.”

He shrugged, unconcerned as he wiped any remnants of food from his mouth with his napkin. “It’s no bother, Commander. I do not blame them; after everything I did to you and put you through…” His voice trailed off as bile tried to make its way up his throat. “I’m a former tyrant who tried to kill you. I was a monster. They’re perfectly justified in their suspicions.”

Raelyn’s face hardened and her deep brown eyes narrowed. “You are so much more than the monster your father tried to turn you into, Arcann,” she said, her voice soft, but so full of conviction and determination that it left little doubt in his mind that she firmly believed everything she was saying. “I know the scars you bear don’t compare to the ones beneath the surface.”

Arcann gaped at her, and he could feel his mouth moving in an attempt to find something worthy of that response, but was coming up empty.

“I could sense the good in you from the moment we met,” she continued. “But there was so much anger and jealousy. Sorrow and regret. But the most overwhelming of all was the hatred...” Her voice trailed off, and he could hear the emotion in her words. “A lot of it was for your father, but most of it was toward yourself. I can still feel that lingering in you.” Not pity, just genuine sadness for everything he had experienced. “You’re a good man, Arcann. Yes, you’ve made mistakes. We all have, but you’re striving to make yourself better.” She smiled then, and Arcann could feel his heart hammering in his chest. “I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of you.”

He stared at her, dumbstruck as she took his hands in hers, not flinching at the cold metal of his cybernetic limb. He could feel the calluses from her lightsaber along her palm, but it was still so incredibly soft. “I—thank you, Commander. It… hasn’t been easy, but it means a lot to have your support.”

Biting her lip, Raelyn stood and began pacing back and forth, creating a bit of distance between them, and he immediately felt the loss of her warmth. “I know it’s not easy,” she paused, looking him over with a small nod, as if coming to a decision about something she was struggling with internally. “I’ve been where you were before. I know how much dedication it takes to walk a new path, or a forgotten one.”

Arcann waited patiently for her to continue. He watched as she wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her hands up and down her arms as if suddenly cold. “You know that our encounter on Zakuul wasn’t the first I’d had with your father. Though I knew him by a different name, and a different title. Vitiate, Emperor of the Sith.”

Nodding, Arcann leaned forward on the couch, resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together. “I do seem to recall that, yes.”

“I haven’t told many people this… Only the members of the Jedi Council and my crew know this.”

He remained silent, allowing her the time to gather her thoughts. He refused to push her; whatever it was that she was about to admit was obviously very troubling and upsetting for her. He watched her closely as she wrapped the blanket tighter around her before continuing. “About a year or so after I finished my padawan training, I was asked to accompany a group of Masters to Dromund Kaas in an attempt to capture Vitiate alive and redeem him,” she said finally, her voice flat and eyes distant and emotionless, off in another part of her life that she really didn’t care to revisit. He was tempted to tell her that she didn’t have to go on, but he knew she needed to get this off her chest.

Raelyn continued to pace. “We weren’t successful.” The way she said it, with a bitter laugh that held no humor behind it, made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world, that they had been destined to fail. Arcann was actually fairly surprised to hear that coming from her. She had always seemed so confident going into missions that seemed impossible. In reality, he knew even the strongest warriors faltered. It didn’t diminish the strength he knew was inside her, though. Not to him.

“He captured us. Twisted me and the other Jedi Masters to the darkside, and used me to torture my friends.” She finally looked at him then, and he could see the tears forming and threatening to spill over, and from where he sat, he could see her visibly shaking beneath the thick blanket. “I was under his control for so long, and I don’t remember everything I did, but I do remember that I did horrible things to the people I love most in this galaxy. _I_ was a monster.”

Standing, Arcann marched toward her and gripped her arms gently, but firmly, tilting his head to get her to look at him. “But you broke free of his control. I used to inspire fear in millions, but I never frightened you. You are the strongest person I know, Raelyn. I can only hope to walk a fraction of the path you’ve followed, but with you as a guide, I would gladly strive to follow you anywhere.”

Her bottom lip trembled as she smiled softly at him, causing the tears pooling at the corners of her eyes to finally spill over. Arcann gently wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. Without so much as a word, Raelyn wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. You do scare me,” she admitted, sinking her teeth into the corner of her lip. “Just… not in the way I expected.”

Shocked, he stood there rigid for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. Had she just admitted to having feelings for him? After a moment, he could feel her starting to pull away, and he could feel the moment beginning to slip away.

It all happened too quickly for his brain to have time to process the possible repercussions of what his actions could entail. She had been too close, and he could feel the warmth of her body through the blanket, could smell the intoxicating floral scent of her soap. It happened as if on instinct, as if it was the most natural thing in the galaxy to tilt his head just enough to capture those soft, pillowy lips between his own. It was almost as if he was outside of his own body, watching as the disaster played out before him. The blanket slid from her shoulders and pooled at their feet, the startled sound she made the only thing keeping him grounded to the present. The absolute innocence of her kiss was sending a shock of desire straight to his core.

Raelyn’s nails dug into his shoulders, and Arcann feared for a moment that she would push him away, that his attention was unwanted. Instead, her small hands clutched at him as she pressed closer to him, and he couldn’t stop the groan from escaping his lips when her hips brushed against his growing arousal. A glowing warmth spread through his chest, unfamiliar, but not unwelcome at the realization that she wasn’t going to reject him.

He pulled back momentarily, gazing down at her, searching her face for any signs that she didn’t want this, but she smiled, reaching up and cupping his face to draw him into her. He kissed her, and she was soft and pliant beneath him, unsure and unskilled at first, but he showed her with lips and gentle flicks of the tongue, and Izax take him, she was a quick study.

The world fell away as he stepped closer, inadvertently walking her backwards until her back was pressed up against the wall of her quarters. His brain was suddenly bombarded with an onslaught of images—ones of dark, slender legs wrapped tightly, possessively, around his pale waist, those neatly groomed fingernails scratching down his back, leaving raised and reddened lines of desire in their wake.

A part of him, a more primal and a much more familiar part, wanted nothing more than to spin her around, press her hard against the wall, and take her from behind in a desperate attempt to satisfy the growing hunger within him, as he had with many of his past sexual partners. Even now, he felt his body respond with eagerness as the image came to the forefront of his mind.

But this encounter was nothing like his previous trysts. He’d had a few eager and willing would-be suitors before the accident on Korriban—before his scars—and even a few after, while his family had been in control of the Eternal Throne. Eager prospects had flocked in droves to the Spire in an attempt to woo him and dig greedy and power hungry fingers into his family’s fortune. Not one of them had actually been interested in him, the person that he was. They all wanted the power and what accompanied it. In return, he would take what they offered, caring only to seek his own pleasure for one night, and send them on their way afterward.

This time was different. Sex was nothing new to him. But this desire? This tenderness? This… this affection? All of that was completely new to Arcann, and something only this woman had managed to awaken within him. The affect she had on him wasn’t just on his body, though that was significant, but it was a soul-deep connection that changed everything. It was then that he realized with a start, that he didn’t want just a single night, or even just a handful of them. He wanted more. So much more.

She could offer him forever and he would not think it enough.

He heard his name spill from her lips on a broken sigh, sending a wave of heat coursing through his veins. He groaned against her mouth as he deepened the kiss, pressing her back against the wall while at the same time pulling her hips against his so she could feel the extend of his desire for her.

He’d never wanted someone as much as he wanted her and the fact that that thought alone didn’t terrify him was enough to make him pull back from the kiss, even though it took everything within him to do so, and gaze down at the woman in his arms. He chuckled softly at her whimpered protest at the loss of connection, as her own lips followed his, seeking their warmth.

Her lovely brown eyes were still half lidded with desire, mouth still slightly formed to the shape of his, lips still red and kiss-swollen from his assault. Arcann couldn’t stop himself from reaching his hand up and brushing his thumb along her bottom lip and trailing it down the long line of her neck. “That wasn’t too scary, was it?” he teased.

She laughed softly, shaking her head. “Only scary in the way that all new experiences are scary,” she whispered, confirming his suspicions. He’d studied up on the Jedi Order when he’d first encountered her, learning about their Code and their fear of attachment and how they would often forsake love for duty. As he’d suspected, she had remained true to their teachings. “The Jedi frown upon this kind of thing…”

Arcann shushed her by placing a finger against her lips. “I won’t force you to do something that you’re not comfortable with, Raelyn. As much as I want to pursue this, I won’t do that to you.”

Smiling, she shook her head. “I think the two of us are strong enough to keep each other in line. We both have scars that need healing.”

“I can agree to those terms.” He grinned, leaning down and kissing her again, chuckling as she melted against him. He pulled back slowly, pressing his forehead against hers. “I should probably go. Let you rest.”

He needed to leave now, or he wouldn’t be able to force himself to if he stayed much longer.

“You don’t have to,” she whispered breathily, face still flushed as she pressed into him. “You could stay and we could keep doing this.” She grinned at him, pushing up on the tips of her toes to trail delicate kisses along his jaw that made him shiver.

“As much as I would love to,” Arcann smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “that probably wouldn’t be the best idea. I’ve always rushed things, and I want to do this the right way.” He kissed her again, softly this time, as he carded his fingers through her hair, the locks now completely dry and just as soft as he’d imagined. “If there’s one thing I want to get right in this galaxy, it’s this.”

She nodded, smiling softly as she slid her hand down his arm to intertwine her fingers with his, and began leading him towards the door. “I’ll save you a seat at breakfast, then?”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he agreed, kissing her once more before stepping outside. “Sleep well, Commander.”

She rolled her eyes at him, laughing softly as she bid him a goodnight and closed the door in his face.

After staring at the closed door for several moments, Arcann finally made his way towards the barracks, feeling more at ease than he could ever remember being. It was a strange feeling, but one he was loathed to let go of.

He would have to think of a way to express his gratitude to his mother and Vette later, because for the first time in his life, he was truly happy.

Now, he just had to worry about her brother.

 


End file.
